Howdy there folks! I'm a-still waitin fer ABC to wake up and call on me to pull up their ratins, but in the meantime I've had another kinda callin, of a more spiritual nature.

A few months back some of my kinfolk was huntin up in the cove where Uncle Derwood used to have his still before the revenuers come in helicopters and there was what they called A Critical Incident, meaning gunshots, loud explosions, and the whole mountain burnin like a volcano full of napalm. Anyhow, nobody seen Uncle Derwood (or any of his stash of moonshine and fireproof cash boxes) since, so some of the menfolk in the family take a stroll up yonder once in a while to see if they can turn up any sign of the treasure, though it's plumb spooky up there with all the charred up trees and stumps.

Well, my cousin Ep was a-pokin around where he though old Derwood's cave had been, when he heered a sound that froze his blood: somebody was whistlin' George Jones, Uncle Derwood's favorite. Ep was too skeered to turn round and look, but he said a strange glowin light come from behind him and the sound of a twelve-gauge bein cocked, so he took to his heels and run off through the brambles screechin and hollerin fit to raise the dead. And that's exactly what folks is sayin, that Uncle Derwood has come back from the dead to keep folks from stealin his treasure.

That's where I come in, folks, cause of inheritin Derwood's tattoo parlor and all, I've been called on to go up and talk old Derwood out of ha'ntin the cove, and keepin his kin from findin the money. Now I ain't afeerd of ha'nts, but I ain't particular sure that old Derwood is dead, and he was a crack shot with his shotgun, so I decided mayhap I should do some studyin on capturin dangerous spirits, ghostly or not. Derwood's spirits was always considered dangerous, even you warn't a revenuer.

I went to the convenience store over by the truck stop and rented all the Ghostbuster movies first, so I could see what kind of equipment I needed and what kind of outfit to wear—you all how important it is to dress fer the occasion. And lo and behold, I seen a sign right away: it said Haunted Knoxville Ghost Tour Be the Investigator!

So, ta make a long story short on details, J over at KnoxGhost kinda has been teachin' me all about ghost huntin and spirit talkin. Meanwhile, cousin Ep has been constructin some ghost bustin apparatus. I'm headed out to Market Square for the Scare in the Square to see if I cain't scare up a few to practice on before I take on Uncle Derwood and then I'm goin on some ghost tours. Come on out, or check in with KnoxGhost.com if you'd like me to introduce you to some of the downtown Knoxville ghosts.